Cat Science Day -Robert's reflections

By Robert the Serious Siamese

My brother Jacob and I decided to have  a science day.

First we tried to do the Schrödinger's cat experiment, but Jacob was too fat to fit into the box.

Any cat owner can attest to the feline obsession with boxes, and we might have Mr. Nobelist Schrödinger to thank for that. 

My special salute goes to myPerson's 2nd best artist -the Oatmeal. He nailed it.

Jacob and I have made several box attempts before

-but we never managed to be dead AND alive -until someone had a look into the box (which was Schrödinger's point, as far as I've understood). 

I'm suspicious about this whole thing, although Schrödinger is constantly referenced in today's science literature and he was a Nobel Prize winner.

My two concerns with the cat example are the following:

1) a cat in itself is an observer, and a much more vigilant observer than most humans,

2) a cat is too big.

I don't know how much too big a cat is, apparently a virus is small enough. Hope to try it out on a mouse one day. Quite obviously I shall name the experiment "Robert's mouse". 

I might need the help of myPerson as for sure I will know if a mouse in a box is alive or dead, no matter how still it is, without peeking; because I can hear ultrasounds. MyPerson can't.

These are tricky things, the smartest people in the world are still working on making quantum physics (how tiny stuff behave) to work together with Einstein's relativity theory (how big stuff behave). Common sense and observation (using normal senses - "normal" as in cat or human, and any human built instruments) just isn't sufficient.

Apparently gravity poses a problem -or perhaps it will be the answer, knotting the two worlds together and creating the Theory of All.

Well, my brother Jacob and I decided to go back to basics and do some Newtonian gravity experiments. We tossed down a couple of objects of various weight and shape. 

MyPerson was writing her no-tossing blog so it was kinda hilarious. 

Then, one object hit her and she called us down.

We were just following the Heisenberg principle (-or that's what we tried to claim, hoping she'd go for it...but of course gravity is gravity...muahahaha, probably this is why some people think we cats are sneaky). An evil cat might claim we were plotting to kill her and make it look like a quantum suicide.

But we still claim we had no way of knowing it'd hit her that hard, so I think she's being unfair claiming we hurt her on purpose.

Well, she did apologize afterwards. She only realized in hindsight how clever we were, doing the box trick and falling objects testing while she was reading and pondering about a book written by a famous Finnish astronomer, Esko Valtaoja. 

In fact, Jacob and I were expressing synchronicity -because we obviously can have no clue about what she's reading. 

Cats can't read and they can't see other colours than some blue, a bit of yellow and many Shades of Grey (no pun intended -we're both castrated).

In the end, we were no wiser. Actually the more experiments we did, the more questions we had. But that's the very nature of science!

-Robert the Serious Siamese

PS. If you don't like my stories, you can always read my brother Jacob's book.