Smelly Pee

by Robert the Serious Siamese

I went for a pee in the garden, as I'm supposed to do. When I was covering it up I was alarmed by a strange smell.

First I thought I might have a serious metabolic disorder.
Then I though perhaps I was cursed. 
My third thought was maybe myPerson had invented a new way to track me down. 

Then I had a (h)eureka(!) moment. I had secretly consumed left-overs that are never tossed in our family containing prosciutto crudo and some odd looking green stalks. I tried to avoid the green bits but didn't quite manage. Obviously I was in a hurry. 

There was also some yellow sauce from a French person called Béarnaise. So I guess it's no wonder my pee smelled.

...well, turns out I was wrong. -The green stuff was asparagus and a specific compound in the asparagus the reason for my stinky pee. This, together with my pure breed genes.

Let me explain:

There are chemical compounds in asparagus that your body turns into for example methanethiol (or methyl mercaptan).  

This chemical is blamed for the smell of farts and bad breath.

However, asparagus pee doesn't smell like a common fart, there are in fact up to twelve different compounds behind the smell.

Funnily enough, it seems some people break down asparagus in a way that produces these smelly chemicals whilst some are able to smell them. Whether you produce smelly pee after eating asparagus or whether you are able to detect it with your nose depends on your genes. And even more peculiar is that the smelly pee producer and the smelly pee detector isn't necessarily the same person.

I'm seriously confused by this, but it has all been proven by scientific studies.

MyPerson, a pharmacist and with a long career in drug development was shocked by these so called studies. One of the studies asked people to first smell asparagus urine, then to smell tap-water, and then to describe the two experiences. She's really upset about this. I personally know water can have all sorts of smells -just like pee, so I'm unsure what she is fussing about again. 

An other study measured stinkiness without defining stinkiness. Apparently this is a serious crime in the pharmaceutical world, when the primary endpoint is not properly defined. 

This is outside my area of expertise so I shall go scare our neighbour's cat with my smelly pee.

-Robert the Serious Siamese