Robert's latest worry -A smartband

by Robert the Cat

MyPerson bought herself a smartband called Fitbit flex and now all she does is walk and walk, then she stares at her iPhone even more than before and that's a lot of staring, if you ask me. 

I mean, we cats are notorious for staring, so I can tell when there's a lot of it.  Below is one of our typical stares:

I am not in favour of smartbands of any kind.

If a person walks more than 10'000 steps a day there is much less lap-time for a cat. 

Before the smartband MyPerson and I used to make ourselves comfy on the sofa with a book, or I would generously help her with PC work. 

Well, she calls it work but she just presses buttons on a keyboard, and sometimes I see pictures of her friends. 

Doesn't seem like work to me. 

PC "work" isn't as techy as it sounds. Many cats have unnecessary fear for human-made technology. But mind you, not all do; I've heard of some early adopters who are quite savvy with them iPads.

One kinda funny PC thing me and my brother did was this:

"Sorry, mom -we're having a home-office day!"

She didn't touch her PC for hours! She just took pictures of us (this was before the smartband time).

-Robert

Siamese cat morning

By Robert the Cat

Woke up at 06:03, the sun was up and I could hear the birds twittering their nonsense.

I stretched and sneaked out through my and my brother's cat flap. The flap is microchip operated but myPerson has not activated the microchip function. 

Sometimes I worry about this security breach. There are some nasty cats in our neighbourhood...

I went for my shorter morning round, in order to be back for the alarm clock. There were two days without alarm clock so today there will be one. 

Gosh, I'm hungry!  Too bad myPerson always insists on having her coffee and to wake up the littlePerson before giving me any food. 

Luckily my brother takes care of helping out with the wake-up-the-littlePerson procedure. He also drinks from the tap, and uses the opportunity when myPerson makes her precious coffee. 

I prefer rain water. You find it everywhere! There are insects and larvae in the puddles -an excellent protein source. I also prefer my privacy when drinking. I take pride in the fact that no one has ever seen me drinking. A cat has to maintain his dignity. My brother Jacob, of course, is an exception.

By 07:15 my brother has done his job and the littlePerson is awake. I sit in her lap for awhile. 

I'm her excuse not to fetch her toothbrush herself.  The white stuff she uses smells funny. I think it's peoplemint.  All humans in my family are addicted to peoplemint, they use it at least twice a day! I've made a resolution to stay away from that stuff. 

My claws are itching! I'm going to have a go on the carpeted stairs. They're the best for itchy claws.  I know I don't have much time so I put all my energy into the scratching. It helped! I love those stairs. My brother does too, and I think he heard me 'cause he comes running up and scratches the stairs as well. But a human runs over and shouts at my brother. Jacob can be very quick when he senses trouble so he runs out, almost smashing the cat flap door.

Now comes my morning highlight: littlePerson and myPerson are putting books and boxes into the schoolbag. My special number is to pretend I want to sneak into the bag. I love bags and with my schoolbag trick I get some well deserved attention. They always ask: "do you also want to go to school, Robert?". So I go "mau" and then they laugh and cuddle me. They think it's a "yes". Actually "mau" means "hell, no" but I don't mind. I like it when they laugh and cuddle me.

Now littlePerson walks off to school and promises to be good, and it is finally time for my breakfast! 

My brother Jacob reappears as quickly as he had disappeared before and we eat together. We have signs on the wall to know who's bowl is who's, but I always eat from the fullest bowl. Jacob doesn't mind.

I've a had a good, regular alarm-clock-day morning and I will now go for a nap. The bed is still warm. Everyone's left the building, but I know they will return by the time I'm up and about again.

-Robert